Author: Sarah Stewart

Daughter of The King. Lifelong learner. Pursuing God’s best dreams for me, my family, and His Church.
Conversations

Thinking About You

Sarah StewartLeave a comment

You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord!
    He is their help and their shield.
The Lord has remembered us; He will bless us;
    He will bless the house of Israel;
    He will bless the house of Aaron;
He will bless those who fear the Lord,
    Both the small and the great.

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I love how songs, especially worship and praise songs, can actually be an encouragement to us while also glorifying God at the same time. I love that one chapter in the Psalms often contains great richness in just one or two of it’s verses. I love how scripture reminds us where our blessing and help and hope comes from; it always does a focus adjustment on our “lenses”.

Its so easy, going through the day-to-day, to start to forget that all that I have, all that I need – it all comes from God and His strength, blessing, and grace. I try so often, without even realizing it most of the time, to give myself my own blessings, to help myself, and protect myself. This inevitably eventually leads to a lot of feelings of being overwhelmed and the fact that I absolutely cannot do all those things by myself. I’m not saying that God doesn’t use the skills and abilities He’s created me with to accomplish things in and with me. What I am saying is that my lenses gradually get smudges and fogged up when I “forget” God throughout the day and try to use those skills and abilities without asking for His help and wisdom for how to use them. When my lenses get all blurred, because I can’t see clearly that all of this that I already have is from God and because of God, I start to forget. I forget that God has, and is, and will always help me through all of this swirling and churning. I forget that I’m not alone to figure it all out by myself. I forget that His shield is already raised, protecting me right where I’m standing, in His perfect will. If I would just stay put, keep my focus on Him and remember He’s already got this and He’s helping me through it all, I would be absolutely ok.

This verse wipes the smudges off my glasses and reminds me to trust the God I know because I’ve seen how He remembers me, how He has blessed me before, how He has remembered and blessed so many people, all through history. It is a reminder He still remains true to His name and His character.

With verses like these, Daddy-God lovingly wipes away the fog and smudges once again. “See there?” He says gently, as He places the clean, smudge-free glasses back on my face. Now I can see again! He has pictures hanging on His walls – of me! And over there, on His fridge are some of His favorite things I’ve done. And He whispers as we walk together, “I have never forgotten you nor will I ever. You are my precious, beloved child, and I see you. I have and always will give you exactly what you need and more than you know to desire because I love you and nothing you can do, nor anything that could happen to you will ever change that. My strong arm is fully able to both help you and protect you. You are my most precious and prized child and I love you more than you know.”

My glasses get smudged and foggy from time to time, so I need the priceless Words of my Daddy-God to clean my lenses and remind me of all that I’ve seen, and heard, and experienced – all of the evidences and reminders that I can fully trust Him.

He has shown Himself loving and kind toward me over and over, and even if He had only done it once with The Cross, that alone would be an undeniable example of how unimaginably great His love is for me. He gave me the best blessing I could ever even wish for – the promise and hope of eternity with Him because of His own sacrifice and the resurrection of His Only Son. Because of His Son Jesus’ obedience to death and His resurrection power, I also am now considered God’s very own child, His family! And I have a crazy-good inheritance because of how He remembered me and blessed me.

Oh! How He loves us (me and you)!

And those He loves, He remembers.

And those who remember Him, He blesses; He blesses us with and because of our knowledge of Him.

He is Trustworthy and has given evidence after evidence of such.

Let us remember to trust Him even more today. We are and will continue to be blessed by our Daddy-God as we do.

Conversations

Not My Glory

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Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! – Psalm 115:1

Worry comes very easily for me. I suppose its part of the territory for an analytical thinker who takes things apart in their mind in order to understand them, and plan, and organize, and fix, and problem solve. I don’t think I’ve met anyone (yet) who is highly analytical and detailed, that doesn’t struggle with worry more than they probably should. However, that’s not really the worst part for me. Worry is bad enough, but worrying what someone else thinks about me or whether or not they think I’m worth some specific amount of effort or money – that in my mind, is the worst kind of worry there is. Worrying about what another person thinks of me or what they think I’m “worth” is worry about my own glory. That is self-exalting on more than one level! On the first level, the worry itself is saying that I am trying to do something on my own without God or without trusting the details to God. On another level, this kind of worry is somehow being so consumed with myself that I seek my own glory and am concerned with whether or not I will get it.

That is painful to admit and shocking to read myself type those words. I will readily admit I struggle with pride. But when I look at these words: worrying about my glory – that puts things in a more truthful context that is difficult to “run” or “hide” from. I know I’ve grown “comfortable” with the concept of pride because it kind of hides what’s really going on. All pride is based in seeking after one’s own glory, and what the scriptures tell us very plainly is that the only One who deserves any glory is God. Even more plainly, if anyone or anything else gets glory, that is idolatry.

When I was reading a devotion on this topic the other day, I happened to be putting myself through some heavy stress about work – trying to be and do all the right things and feeling frustrated that trying to make one person happy was making another unhappy. I was struggling (code for “worrying”) a lot with feelings of worth and un-successfulness and comparing myself to other people – just overall feeling very upset that I wasn’t better at my job, more loved, further along in my career, more respected – you know all those things that would be evidence of “glory”. So God, in His infinite wisdom and knowledge and with such gentle and gracious love, saw what my heart was struggling with. He knew that it wasn’t pretty, but not just because I was sad and stressed and lashing out at people. He knew that the ugly, not great part about all of it, was that I was blind to a much bigger problem, a much more dangerous, viral kind of problem: self-glorification. And He walked me, gently, into this verse and the study of it for a couple of days.

When I read the first part of this verse (which I have read many many times before) it was as if someone turned on the light and took a heavy weight off of my back. I didn’t get any answers to the questions I was asking about “Am I worth it?” and “Doesn’t anybody love or even like me?” and “Why in the world would anyone want me around? Don’t they want to fire me already?” But I didn’t get the answers to those questions because those were the wrong questions to ask. What I did receive is a reminder of the fact that first and most importantly, God Almighty is absolutely worth it and worth my time, energy, attention, and worship. In fact, He’s the only One worthy of all this praise, and love, and admiration, and I most certainly want Him around! The second really big thing I was reminded of is that this amazing, unmatched, wonderful, almighty God absolutely loves and likes me and thinks I’m worth His time and His purpose for me. This knowledge and understanding may be beyond my ability on my own to really fully grasp, but the fact doesn’t change that He does have a perfect, loving purpose and a fierce, no-strings-attached love for me and all of this (His purpose and love for me) is all for my own good and His glory. Not my good and my glory.

So this verse is a beautiful reminder to give all praise and glory and honor to Him who deserves it all. To our magnificent, loving, wonderful, almighty, creator God who’s glory is well earned, and who’s love is well given, all far beyond what I could earn in my own strength. To God be the glory, not to me and all that I’ve accomplished (which would never have been accomplished without so many things from Him), but to God be the glory. Great things He has done!

Conversations

Running Toward You

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“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’
“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.
Luke 15: 20-24

 

This particular parable is no doubt very familiar to a lot of people and I’m certainly no exception. I can’t remember how old I was the first time I heard the story, but it must have been at a very young age because it seems like I’ve known the story my entire life. It is a great parable, full of rich content for many a sermon. At a pretty simplified level, its about how our Good Father, God, loves us, His sons and daughters. As many times as I’ve heard and read this story, recently for the first time I was overwhelmed with very vivid imagery while listening to a sermon on the passage. Perhaps it was because I was listening as a parent. Perhaps something the teacher said struck a chord. Perhaps I identified with the son more as a child this time instead of a bystander. Whatever the reason, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the picture I still have stuck in my head.

By this point in the story, the son realizes that it was a stupid choice to disrespect his dad (essentially telling his dad “I wish you were dead”) because even servants in his dad’s house were treated better than where he found himself. He was homeless, penniless, and starving – so much so that he was willing to defile his body just to have something to eat. He was doing worse than the equivalent of dumpster diving – which is pretty gross just in itself! So he decides to go home and try to convince his dad to give him a job – knowing that even to get a job cleaning toilets for his dad’s servants would be better than what he was doing right now. If it were me, I’d be convincing myself that after the way I’d treated him, there’s no way he’d take me back even as a servant to the servants that was “paid” in 3 meals a day and a place to sleep.

Walking weakly along the road, each step a difficult task but knowing he must go on and at least give his dad the chance to reject him, he continued his weary walk toward home. Coming over the last hill, with the house in sight but still a somewhat small structure in the distance, feelings of nervousness and dread start to flood his mind – but he continues on. After a few minutes he sees someone emerge from the house quickly, appearing to scan the horizon as if verifying what had been seen from inside the house. Looking down at his feet and the broken ground he is walking on, full of rocks and weeds, and critters, its an all too familiar path back to the house he once called home. When he returns his gaze to the house, he notices the person who had been standing staring at the horizon was not standing there any more. Instead they were running. They were running fast! In his direction! For a second, he paused thinking that this person running toward him might be coming to tell him to get lost and never dare return again. He hesitated, thinking it might be safer to turn back. But, deciding that whatever came of this, he probably deserved the beating, he continued on, one foot in front of the other.

The person running was closing the distance rapidly between them and now he could see – it was his father! Not sure what to expect he paused again, still watching his father close in – faster and faster, closer and closer. He wasn’t sure what to think or do. He started practicing his speech again. He wanted to at least try to get it out before his father banished him never to return again. He thought for sure his father would slow down the closer he got, but as he watched, he just kept running! He was getting so close – he’s going to run right into me!

running-prodigal-fatherThe Father was overwhelmed with love and compassion as soon as he saw his son way off in the distance. Every day since his son left he would watch the horizon, waiting for his return. This day was different. Today, he was certain he saw his son on the horizon! He couldn’t wait to make sure. He couldn’t wait another minute without his precious son. He broke into an instant run. He kept his eyes fixed on his son’s location the entire time – straining to see if it truly was his son and not wanting the young man to leave. The closer he got, the more certain he became – this is his son! He has returned home to me! The insult long ago was nowhere close to the father’s mind – his heart had forgiven him long ago. As his son’s face became clearer, he began to weep. His son whom he loved more than his own life, was home! His prayers have been answered! Why can’t these legs move any faster?!

The father collided into the son with nearly the full force of the speed with which he had been running. He ran into his son so hard he almost knocked them both over. Flinging his arms around his son’s neck he hugged him tightly, determined never to let his child go. His sobs of joy and love came all at once. The son, taken back by this welcome and still feeling completely worthless tried to start his speech, even though his face was buried in his father’s chest. As he started in with a muffled voice “Father, I’m not worthy….. Father I’ve sinned….” he started to weep as well, but his weeping was a broken weeping. And as he wept at how he had hurt his father, he was able to hear his father was saying something too! He was repeating over and over through his own tears, “My son, whom I love, is home! My son, whom I love, is home!” The son flung his arms around his dad and tried again to get his speech out through his sobs. But the father pulled his face towards his own and looking him straight in his tear-filled eyes he said again “My son, whom I love, is home!”

The Father, carrying his son’s arm around his own neck to support his weary legs, walked with his son back toward their home. As they came closer, the Father was now shouting, announcing to everyone to prepare the biggest feast ever, as if his son had just been born and there was a party to be had! Because truly, there was.

Conversations

Daddy’s Help

Sarah StewartLeave a comment

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up. – Psalm 68:19

Another version of scripture says “who daily bears our burdens”. What a great picture of the Father. He doesn’t just know about our burdens and worries, He doesn’t just wait to hear about our troubles and He doesn’t sit around doing nothing until we cast our cares on Him. He actually already carries us and our burdens.

As I was thinking about these things, an image came to mind…

holding_handsThe Father and I were walking along together. He was carrying quite a heavy load – all of the things on His back were mine. And as all good fathers do, He was helping me along, carrying me over the distances when my feet got tired, telling me what to watch out for along the path so that I didn’t get hurt, and holding my hand to steady me. This is a very long journey we are on together and as I started to grow and recognize for myself the dangerous areas and I was able to walk a little more on my own, I started to recognize the things He was carrying.

“Here Daddy,” I said “let me carry some.” He looked down at me with a loving concern on His face and began to explain “They are heavy, Little One.”

“But, Daddy, I can do it. See how I’ve gotten better at walking by myself and I’m stronger than I used to be; besides, those are my burdens to carry. Shouldn’t I be carrying them and learning to be like you, Daddy?”

The Father tenderly, knowingly responds without a single word. He sets the pack down and carefully selects only one or two items out of the pack. Turning toward me I saw a look of great love and the concern a good father has for his child, knowing she is choosing the hard way but understanding that she will not understand his help or his great love for her, unless he allows it. Was that a tear I saw run down His face? He places the select few burdens on my back. “Wow. These are heavier than they looked on The Father’s back.” I think to myself.

The Father lifts back up His very heavy pack and we continue on walking together. The Father, as any good one does, repeatedly checks on me, looking to see if I’m ok and asking me if I need help. He returns to pointing out the dangerous parts along the way, and extending His hand to help me over the rocky places. My response is quietly continuing along without asking for and rarely accepting His outstretched hand.

After walking for quite a while over difficult terrain, I fall. This pack is so heavy! But The Father makes it look so easy! I have scrapes all over me and I’m so tired carrying these heavy burdens. I start crying and I call out “Daddy! Wait!” The Father turns and immediately returns to my side, still effortlessly carrying that huge load. He has scrapes and bruises too, in the exact same spots as me! But He’s not out of breath, He’s not tired.

Knowing full well what I’m going through and seeing how worn out I am from all of this, He still asks me, with compassion in His voice, “What’s wrong, my child?” Fighting to not break down sobbing due to the pain, fatigue, and disappointment in myself for not being able to do this, I respond “This burden – its too heavy. You were right, Daddy, I need your help.”

The Father kneels down beside me and speaking tenderly, with another tear running down His face, He asks if I really want His help. He reminds me that it was me that wanted to try to do all of this on my own and that He had been there all along the way, ready to help. There was no condemnation in His tone, just a concerned Father, just as concerned about the lesson I would learn as the scrapes and bruises I had everywhere. As He gently wiped away the dirt and blood stains and tenderly wiped my tear-stained face, He reminds me “You don’t have to be like me, Little One. Yes, you are my child and in many ways you are like me, but there will always be things I can and should do that you will not be able to do. Like all of these burdens, I carry them for you because I love you. I want you to be able to walk freely and happily enjoy the journey home together with me.”

With the burdens secured back on The Father’s shoulders, with a bright smile and a hint of compassion, knowing what His child has been through and that this lesson will be repeated again, The Father smiles and hugs me as He stands back up. Holding out His hand I place mine in His and He lifts me to my feet.

We start back on our journey home together again. “Hey! Look at that amazing flower! And what a beautiful sky!” I remarked joyfully. I hadn’t noticed those things in such a long time. “Oh! And look, Daddy! Did you see that beautiful bird fly by?” The Father looks at me again with a smile, my hand in His “Enjoy it all, Little One.”