Category: Conversations

Conversations between my Daddy (God) and me.

Conversations

Real Promises

Sarah Stewart2 Comments

For all the promises of God find their Yes in him.
That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.
And it is God who establishes us with you in Christ, and has anointed us,
and who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.
2 Corinthians 1:20-22

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As a child, I learned that promises are serious. You can’t break a promise.

Especially not a pinky-promise!

But as I got older and more acquainted with “real life” I learned more and more just how un-true that is. As an adult, I’ve learned that not even promises in writing are always honored and even signed contracts can, and have been broken. I think sometimes maybe I am even worse about keeping my promises to God than I am with someone else.

“Oh Lord! I promise I’m going to be better at [fill in the blank]!” How many times have I fallen short of my promises to Him! Or even convinced myself that I didn’t think that all the way through, or made justifications about how God didn’t really want me to make that promise because of reason, reason, reason……

“Lord, I was planning on giving some of this money to the church, but surely you don’t want me to do it now that I have more debt than I did when I made that promise.”

“Lord, I know I said I’d start talking to more people about you but they really look like they want to be alone and I’m sure I’d say the wrong thing or just make them uncomfortable. Besides, someone else is far more qualified than I am to talk to them.”

None of this is new to the Father though. He has always known this is how I tend to think. My Good Father doesn’t just stop at knowing that I tend to think this way though. And He doesn’t write off my failed promise keeping as “Well, there she goes again, breaking yet another promise. I guess we’re going to go for the thousandth time with this lesson before I can bless her since she broke another promise.”

No. that would be far too much like me and not at all like the Father. God knew that there was no way I could be good on my own, I’ve proven to keep my promises less than fifty percent of the time! But that doesn’t keep Him from keeping all of His promises to me anyway.

God’s promises are never broken. The passage here in 2 Corinthians is saying just that: “all the promises of God find their ‘Yes’ in Him.” God keeps His promises, and He keeps them perfectly, and He keeps them always. In fact, the biggest promise God made has been proven and played out in Jesus – in His birth, death, and resurrection. God’s biggest promise has been to love me with a love that is so big, so undying that nothing would ever be able to separate me from it, not even my own unfaithfulness or evil. (Ro. 8:38-39)

What an amazing thought! God has kept every single one of His promises and the proof of that fact is His very own Son, Jesus. And as if it weren’t enough for Him to prove how He keeps His promises to me, He takes it up a notch and gives me even more. He gives me a guarantee (the Holy Spirit) for all of the promises yet to be kept and then He even gives me the ability to do great things because of Jesus and the kingdom I am part of.

“So let me get this straight, God. You know I’m a screw up and I definitely haven’t proven that I can keep any promise worth keeping – but you make a promise to me anyway? And not just any old promise like ‘I promise to buy you ice cream if you’re good today.’ but like a real promise – a huge promise. You promise to love me so much that you died for me just so you and I could be in the same place together. Just so I could actually be in your presence. Just so I could have a meaningful, personal, loving relationship with you. Even though that is the last thing I deserve…And then, you did it. You kept your promise to me…

And what’s that you’re telling me? You have even more planned for me? You mean this huge promise to love me doesn’t stop with what was done already in Jesus? You’re telling me that I haven’t even seen the other promises you are going to keep….”

Mind. Blown. Seriously.

Who does that?!?

God does that.

The Good Father. My Good Daddy. Your Good Daddy.

He’s here to stay. He’s my Daddy, and yours too. And not because of some court order or feeling of obligation. Nope. The Father is your Father because of His promise to love you. And He doesn’t turn that promise into a “No” because of anything you did or didn’t do, or because of some loop hole clause in a contract. In fact, He already kept His promise. He paid a price no one could afford to pay in order to adopt you and show you exactly how much He loves you. That is how much you mean to Him and how much He honors and keeps His promises.

His “Yes” to His promises has always been worth trusting and it is no less a “Yes” today than yesterday. This is a real promise that will never be broken. Stronger than any promise ever made by a human.

Even stronger than a pinky-promise.

Would you trust Him today? It doesn’t cost you anything – it only cost Him everything. What do you have to loose? A life of discouragement perhaps? A life without love, joy, and peace?

He promises that will never be true when He’s your Father. And He proves it. He’s done it before. He’s doing it now. He’ll always do it. He keeps His promises. They are always “Yes”, proven and backed by Jesus.

And when we see Him keep His promises, how can we not praise Him, watching this amazing glory fulfilled in our undeserving lives?

Conversations

A Great Work

Sarah StewartLeave a comment

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap,
if we do not give up.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Galatians 6:9-10

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” or in Christian lingo “What is your ‘calling’?” Part of the reason I’ve struggled with this question is that so many things held my interest, perhaps because there didn’t seem to be any one thing that I felt passionate about. Well into my 30’s I was still asking the question of myself “Why am I here? What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose and what does God want to use me for?” I’ve heard messages about “God’s call” and been compelled time and time again to dig out of myself the answers to these questions. I’ve taken personality tests and tests to determine my “spiritual gifts”. I’ve read devotionals that focused on what God’s Word says I should do to determine His “call on my life”. While all of these tools have been helpful to some degree, nothing seemed to fully answer these questions for me.

Not long ago I was talking with a friend and he asked me that infamous question about what brings a feeling of fulfillment to me. Without pausing to think about it, I told him. I was actually a bit surprised at myself! I even stated that was probably the first time in my life I had ever been able to clearly identify what God’s fulfilling purpose for me is. I realized that the reason I was able to articulate this was because my Heavenly Father had been graciously bringing me through understanding who He is in this area of my life and who I am because of Him. Now, this is not to say I don’t ever still have moments of uncertainty. There are times I wonder if I’m just following my own path and if what I’m doing is even what He wants of me.

“I don’t have anything all that great to give. My contributions are so insignificant, especially compared to that person over there. How is doing this ever going to help anyone? How could God ever use this to further His kingdom and bring Him glory?”

The Father continues to remind me “Where you are and what you have learned, I have brought you to and taught you. You may not see how these things could be so great, but your vision is limited. I see not only what is right now, but I see far into what is to come and anything that you do with me, is good. Anything you do because of me, is good. Don’t give up! Don’t stop now. I’ll teach you the next step just like each one before, and I’ll help you. I’ll make it all good.”

I wonder as I listen to His reassuring voice: what is it that keeps me from “doing good”? Even more specifically, what holds me back from doing the good things that my Father has equipped me to do and has asked me to do?

One reason that comes to mind is fatigue.

“I’m so tired. It is easier and feels better right now to just keep to myself. Besides, I’ve done a lot of trying and its a lot of work and I just don’t know if its even worth it. And aren’t we supposed to rest from work? I’ve been at my job all week, not to mention all the other things I’ve been doing after work, I deserve a break so I think I’ll just fall asleep watching t.v.”

I get tired just thinking about all the times I’ve failed or all that hasn’t been done. I get overwhelmed, and that leads to stress and that stress wears me out. There are the piles of laundry yet to be done (yes that is more than one pile of laundry!), and dishes that have to be washed (seriously, if you could see my sinks!), and food to be made, and taking care of my health, and serving in ministries, and learning the next thing, and… and… and … whew! I need to sit down.

But all this stuff wears me out just thinking about it because I’m trying to do it all by myself. My Father never asked me to do anything without His help. He’s not the one heaping all this on me. He never expected me to make “the call” happen all at once or to succeed over night. He whispers to my heart

“Just focus on one thing at a time. And daughter, keep your eyes on me as we move forward together. Stay with me and I will give you exactly what you need so you can do what I’ve purposed for you. (John 15:4-5)”

Really! What a relief even just re-writing that to remember!

Another thought comes to mind, I haven’t remained committed to doing this great work. (Neh. 6:3) I have allowed things to de-rail me, distract me, and pull me away.

My endless “To Do” list, not having a plan for when things interrupt me, not sticking to the plan I committed to, not spending time with my Father who knows how to do all of this, giving in to anger and frustration and discouragement, listening to voices other than God’s about how what I’m doing is useless or worthless. All these regularly work to distract me and pull me off of the wall that God has purposed me to build.

He continues to gently remind me, He has given me a purpose and gifted me with ways to accomplish that purpose. He says that it is a great work, it is worth His time and attention which means it is worth more than I could ever imagine.

My Daddy’s attention is definitely worth me staying committed. I want Him to see a completed great work, one that He and I have done together. I don’t want to look back and see a trail of things I never finished and never trusted Him to help me accomplish. I want my Daddy to be proud of me. I want to leave a legacy of working on this great work with Him and because of Him so that my children and all the people they know and all of their children and the people they know will give God the glory and that this great work will be multiplied by my Father to accomplish all the things He has seen and purposed for it to do.

Conversations

I Don’t Know What to Do

Sarah Stewart2 Comments

“Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons;
He removes kings and sets up kings;
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the understanding;
He reveals deep and hidden things;
He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him.
– Daniel 2:20-22

 

Knock. Knock.

“Daddy? It’s me, Sarah. You know, the prideful one? I know you saw me trying to figure these things out by myself. I know I told you I thought I already knew your answer. But, Daddy… I need help.  It turns out, I don’t really know the answers, well not most of them anyway, and I’m still stuck. Can you help me? Again. Please?”

I hear my Father whisper from behind me (Is. 30:21) “I am so glad you asked. Of course I will help you. Lets start with remembering what I’ve told you.”

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There have been a couple of tough situations for me this past few weeks – one involving how in the world I’m going to help my kids grow in grace and in faith through difficult and challenging times as they age, and the other involving how I’m supposed to grow and get into new opportunities in my career and/or my calling. I don’t feel like I have the answers to either one of these challenges at this point, but I had thought many times that I knew the “right” answers.

There was an opportunity at work that came up that sounded like a perfect fit for me, and it basically just fell into my lap! I didn’t even know the opportunity existed, but someone had asked for me to participate by name. I don’t even know this person and at first I was so taken aback and really humbled as I thought “The only way this could be happening is God!” For me, this was an honorable thing to have happen to me and the fact I wasn’t seeking self-promotion seemed to me like it came about the “right” way – as “God ordained”. Unfortunately, the next day I heard the opposite and that I wasn’t top of mind for the person or people who were actually making the call. Talk about a crusher! And talk about confusing! Wasn’t this from God? Didn’t I already talk to God about this the prior day and ask if it was from Him and give Him the glory for setting it in my lap?

Hm…wait a minute. I didn’t really wait for God to respond. I “knew” the “right” answer. According to who?

Well…

According to me: whenever something happens that’s good, that I didn’t go seeking, that always means its from God…

Right?

As I reflected on this and worked on memorizing Daniel 2:20-22 (which I chose to memorize long before this situation came up) I saw some words leap out at me

“HE removes … and sets up kings…”

If God can (and does) set kings in place, how much more is He able to put me in the places I need to be? As I’m remembering this too, there is a story right around Daniel of a king who thought he was so great, that God had to humble him to the point of wandering around for years as a wild animal would (slobber and rabies and all!). God took him to the lowest human state possible in order to teach him that he still really had a pride-of-heart problem and it wasn’t until he could honestly say that God is the only one so great, that God then restored him to leadership and great things.  I definitely don’t want my pride to take me into that kind of situation!

I love the reminders in the Word of God. I need them. For situations like these, as I start to open up my ears and listen to the whisper of His Spirit, I am reminded of those who walked with God long before I did, and I’m still learning from them. A few days back I asked of God “What are you teaching me in this situation?”

It wasn’t until this morning when I was working again on memorizing these verses that I heard Him stop me at “He removes kings and sets up kings”.

“Do you see, my daughter? Do you see that you don’t have to strive or struggle to be recognized or to push through to what I’ve called you into? Do you see why this is true? Because every single person ever in leadership has been put there by my hand. You can’t mess that up. And every person who I’ve allowed in those positions has been removed by me when it was my time. I know you don’t understand everything I’m thinking about – that burden would be too much for you anyway. I want you to understand that you can trust me. I want you to remember that I will always make the best and right decision and as long as you stay focused on me and my wisdom and my strength, you’ll be standing in exactly the right places at exactly the right times.”

Thank you, Father God for this reminder.

“And Daddy? What about what I’m supposed to do with leading my kids well? I feel so overwhelmed at all the things I’ve already done wrong as a mom, and there are still so many years to come and…”

“Peace, Little One. Let’s look again.”

And so my Abba leads me again back to His Word and quiets my anxious thoughts with the reminder that He is the one who knows all the answers and He already knows all that can and will happen and if I will simply remain in the light as He is in the light, He will hold back the darkness in our lives.

He will reveal deep things to my children as He knows they are ready for them.

I need to listen for His wisdom and keep myself in the light. My kids will learn how to live in the light with Him if I will walk in the light daily instead of moving into the dark places where I’m the one in control (or rather, under the illusion of being in control).

“Remember?” my Daddy God says. “You picked your own daughter’s name as a reminder to yourself that: I already know. I have always known. And I will always know all things even after this time has passed.”

Once again, My Father God has ever so gently, like a loving Daddy does, turned my face back to His own and re-connected my heart with His. He has fixed my eyesight to see that He’s got this.

He’s always had this.

“Peace, be still.” He reminds me.

“I’ve got all the wisdom and ability you need and I give it all to you because I, your Heavenly Good Father, love you.”

Conversations

I Forgive You

Sarah StewartLeave a comment

“…Mercy triumphs over judgment.” – James 2:13b

“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ ” – Matthew 18:21-22

“For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” – Hosea 6:6

Three tiny words. They are easy to speak with our tongue – often hard to live with our heart, but its at the heart-level that it is vital. Forgiving those who’ve sinned against us is vital for our very lives. Each and every one of us are not without some sin, but God who is fully, completely, and perfectly without sin has forgiven us. James 2 reminds us that if we break only one law (it doesn’t matter which one!) we become “lawbreakers”. And so since we have all broken at least one of God’s laws, we’re all lawbreakers. And if we’re honest, we’ve all broken more than just one and each of the laws we’ve broken, we’ve broken more than once. I certainly have.

But even though we have continually sinned against God, His mercy has been shown to us and it is His mercy that has won us and won the victory for us. God has not won our hearts nor the battle against sin by condemning us to what we deserve for sinning. Our Savior won our hearts because of His great love for us. He won our hearts because of His mercy. And also, in reverse, it is not a sacrifice that we made, nor anything we’ve done to triumph over our own sin or justify ourselves (remember – the first law we broke, we were done for) – it is the mercy and forgiveness of God that has saved, rescued, triumphed, redeemed, and is restoring us.

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So, if God has shown mercy and given us forgiveness that we didn’t earn and certainly don’t deserve (we have given more grief to God than we ever get from one another), then we have no business withholding mercy and forgiveness from someone who has mistreated, hurt, or in any way sinned against us. Jesus makes this very clear in Matthew 18 when He explains that if we fail to forgive and show mercy to one another, we will no longer be recipients of God’s mercy and forgiveness.

Yikes. Does that motivate your heart? It does mine.

One of the things I astronomically appreciate about God and my relationship with Him is that He has shown me great, completely unmerited mercy! There is no way I want to give that up, especially not because of some human being that was unkind to me and holds nothing on my eternal life with The Father. I don’t want to throw away the mercy and forgiveness of God for me because of someone who is not my Heavenly Father, is not the Creator of the Universe, and has no ability to adopt me as the daughter of an Eternal King.

When I hold the light of God’s mercy for me on the things that have happened and the ways that I’ve been hurt, my heart is softened so much more. I was ready to forgive before, but now, considering my great need for His mercy, I’m so much more ready! In fact, my heart is heavier and more saddened as I think about the difficulty their sin has caused for their own lives and I’m thankful on their behalf that God has the same mercy and forgiveness for them as He has had for me.

To the one who left: I wholeheartedly forgive you for being driven toward your own agenda instead of listening to wise counsel around you. And I am sorry that you are having to learn the hard way that comes from pride and your own self-determination to get things done the way you think they should be done instead of in the greater blessing that comes from humbly waiting on God to develop that leadership and influence in you. I forgive you for driving yourself away from all of us by acting like Jacob when he stole Esau’s birthright due to a prophecy and then had to run away to save his skin. I am sorry that you are having to walk through more waiting and uncertainty as you learn the lessons God is walking you through. I forgive you for making the leadership mistake Solomon’s son made in not accepting the counsel of wiser and older people around you over the opinions of younger and more inexperienced people and I pray that instead of great demise like what happened to Rehoboam, that you will understand the benefit of humility and learning from the ones God has placed with wisdom around you. I pray that you would have a greater leadership impact like Jesus who did not consider equality with God to be His for the taking yet had the biggest, most lasting impact on the world of any man who had come before or has been since.

To the one who has struggled with depression and self-image: I wholeheartedly forgive you for being so consumed with what has happened to you that you have succumbed to your own weaknesses and done wrong to those who’ve held you in high regard. I forgive you for running away in the face of conflict and I pray that you will grow stronger as the people around you who love you help you to stand firm. I forgive you for taking credit for all those years for the things that others did behind the scenes that made you look good in the spotlight. I forgive you for taking your queues from poor, prideful, and controlling leadership that came before you instead of investing your strength and efforts into bettering yourself and your leadership potential to pour back into the people you have led. I pray that you will surround yourself with people who you will allow to be honest with you, even if it feels uncomfortable and confrontational. I pray that you will have great courage to listen to their loving wisdom and do the things that they suggest weighed against the wisdom of God. And I pray that you will give more credit to those that God has blessed with gifts different from those he has blessed you with. That as you stand in the spotlight, you will increasingly, more and more pull out your mirror to reflect that light back on the glory of God and His hand at work in the people around you.

To the one who lied: I wholeheartedly forgive you for the deep wounds you have caused so many who put such great, deep trust in you. I am sorry that you allowed yourself to be separated from true accountability and that the Enemy dragged you off by yourself for so long that you began to believe all the lies were actually truth and that you continued in them as a result. I forgive you for betraying our trust that was almost child-like as one has for their parent. I forgive you for starting so many good things that we now loose because of the consequences of your sin. I am thankful on your behalf that the truth finally came to light because I can’t imagine what more mire and muck you were headed for in that dark blackness of lies all alone. I am sorry that so many have been hurt so deeply, in life altering ways because of your dishonesty and I pray that each one is able to come to forgive you from their heart as well. I pray that as God already had blessing, healing, and freedom planned ever since the garden and all the way through the Old Testament, that God would speak also directly to you His specific mercy, freedom, healing, and blessing waiting for you. I am sorry that you have to live with the weight of all of this but I am thankful that you do and pray that it will bring you truthfully deeper and closer to God and that the next time we hear from you, it will be nothing but truth and all to the glory of God, humbly accepting nothing other than our love and forgiveness for you.